My Thoughts

For some reason I thought about you all day. I really miss you, miss so much I barely can breathe.  I miss our conversations, our time together, and I miss how optimistic and joyful I was because I haven't been like that since we broke up.  II hope you're okay; I hope you found everything you want; I am still searching. Some days the pain is just too much to bear; most of the time I can forget that I loved someone so completely and felt like he loved me back. I don't know if I'll ever have that again For now, my life moves forward.  I have work responsibilities and my children.  I am trying to rebuild a sense of myself that I haven't seen for a long time.  I want to be optimistic and joyful again.

original date 3/9/14 I cried today, a good tear-filled, gasping for breath cry.  You know the ones -the ones that somehow cleanse your spirit. Profound loneliness suffocates me so completely that most days I crawl into bed hoping the darkness will consume me. I am so lonely and very afraid of just going through the motions each day.  There has to be more to life than this. This post, like so many others lately, is short............too short for what I had hoped to say.