Deandra forced her mind back to the current time and place as the hotel door closed behind her. Here in her hotel room with her things around her, she could finally allow her tears to flow. She thought she'd soon collapse on the bed, and she was a bit startled that only a few tears made their way down her rain soaked face.
She knew that the screams in the rain had really spent her energy, and coupled with the brandy, her emotions began to finally settle. Reaching into the mini-bar, she withdrew a bottle of tequila and downed it quickly before she could change her mind.
She decided a long shower would complete her relaxation, and she couldn't resist the routine of lighting candles and dimming lights.
What the hell? she thought.
Reaching into the mini-bar again, she decided on another tequila. This time, however, she decided she'd enjoy it over ice with a splash of salt and savor it as the shower soothed away all the negative energy. She could not get him out of her mind, even now after she felt she had gained the upper hand by leaving him standing in the drizzle.
Laughing to herself, she realized she would never have done that 7 years ago.
Steam from the shower began to drift into the room as she found her mp3 player and port to chose some soft music. As the silk dress slipped from her aching body, she glanced at herself in the mirror one more time before losing herself in the steam.
Not bad, girl. Not bad at all.
Lots of dieting and hard work had allowed her to trim down the fifty extra pounds she used to carry around and to tone the remainder into something less than horrible. At her age with two grown children, Deandra couldn't believe that she finally had the body she had wanted most of her life. A sip of the tequila and into the hot water she went.
Closing her eyes, she willed her mind to find center on something positive.
Reaching for the bottle fo designer shampoo, she laughed to herself again. In all those years that she struggled on her own, the closest she came to designer cosmetics was a day dreaming stroll through Neiman Marcus after she power walked the Domain. Jarvis had opened a world to her she had only dreamed of in rural West Texas. When the relationship ended, Deandra wanted powerfully to hold onto the exposed new world.
She took a part time job at Macy's in the Domain working weekends and holidays. Her associate discount and good bargains made it possible for her to begin building a better wardrobe. She began walking everyday she worked, looking in store front windows after everything was closed and making notes about current fashion. Deandra also began calculating investments. She had always been smart, but growing up poor had limited her access to certain things.
The smell of the shampoo calmed her. She knew she had selected it, paid for it and in this somehow owned it.
Yes, that's it, she thought. I own it. I own myself.
This thought renewed her. Downing the last of her tequila, she suddenly felt herself, and just as quickly as her mind had switched into emotional this afternoon when Jarvis found her alone gazing out into the courtyard at the rain, her mind switched back into professional mode and she could begin de-briefing the benefit luncheon.
But she had departed abruptly and did not have closure. Anger swelled up inside her.
Damn you, Jay, she screamed.
Ending her shower, she made mental notes of what needed to be done to wrap up the event.
Wrapping her robe around her and twisting her hair into a towel, Deandra was reaching for her organizer and her phone when the knock sounded at her hotel door.
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