My Thoughts

Even though I logically understand what the expression “too much on your plate” means I don’t think I ever fully grasped the dynamic and emotional reality of this expression until just recently in my life. I’m 57 years old and there have been a lot of things in my life that I have struggled through, waded through, survived. I often look backward in amazement that I was able to juggle so much chaos at different points in my life and somehow get up and make it to school or to work or to soccer practice for the kids, and I never felt that I had too much on my plate. And somehow at my 57th birthday, I fully feel that expression for the very first time and I really don’t know how to process it.  As a 911 operator, I once took a call from an older woman, probably in her 60s at the time (making her almost 80 now), whose dog had escaped her fenced yard. She was hysterical. Initially, I didn't understand the severity of her distress. I even asked my coworkers what the 'big tragedy' ...

She knew Quentin would not be home when she arrived.  A check of her many voice messages explained that he would be delayed at a client meeting.  Deandra hated walking into an empty condo, hated those lingering few minutes of absolute stillness ripe with potential chaos.  Her mind played over and over her egress earlier that day. Did I turn on the entry light? Did I turn off the flat iron? Did I lock the door? The elevator ride to the fifth floor was uneventful - only one passenger on at third carrying what looked like a yoga mat and dressed in work out clothes.  It reminded Deandra that several days had elapsed since her last visit to the rooftop gym, and she then added those thoughts to the others swirling, whispering, taunting her already. She had played her voice messages on the bus ride north while making mental notes. Claire's car was acting up again.  Sofia wanted to spend the summer in Texas. Her mom was planning a summer gathering. Her thirty y...