My Thoughts

The idea for this blog drifted into my mind as I was trying to sleep this morning, so I decided to get moving and outline it before my day got too hectic.  As I was listening to my oldest daughter complain about all the things in her life that she felt were wrong, I prayed for the wisdom to provide her insight into how things worked. She hasn't quite figured out that circumstances in life are always of our own choosing.  It is either because we put ourselves into situations that are unmanageable, unbearable; or, we lack the appropriate coping skills and maturity to deal with the circumstances.  This is why we complain. Imagine a box of cold and abandoned kittens on the side of the road.  Now imagine how loud and needy these kittens are.  When a person stumbles upon these kittens, humanity directs us to reach down and comfort the kittens, to make it better for them.  Yes, these kittens are loud and very needy.  It can almost seem impossible to help ...

A few weeks ago, I started this entry on shaming.  Listening to both Melanie and Kaitlyn talk about being shamed by others, I knew their complaints so well.  Most of my life I have lived with shaming. I think it's easier maybe if you were just stoned publicly for crimes instead of been ridiculed verbally. The damage done to a person for years of manipulation makes one feel inadequate.  Shaming is such a horrible thing to do to others. I found this article: Shame is at the root of low self-esteem. People who feel shame feel bad about who they are. This differs from feelings of guilt, which are related to thoughts, feelings, and actions. Those who experience the pain of shame have negative erroneous beliefs about their inherent abilities and worth. Large doses of unhealthy guilt can cause one to feel shame and its negative effects. Social abilities are impeded when one feels burdened by shame. A person may have a pattern of avoiding social interactions, which can...

Texas Baptist Children's Home I noticed this beautiful church not long after I moved to Austin. I was working at Sears in Round Rock and had some time to do some sight seeing. The entrance of this classic church angles the intersection, almost beckoning one to come visit. I remarked once how gracious the church seemed and that I could so so so see myself in a wedding gown on the front porch. One of my former co-workers at Sears said she had attended a wedding there once and that it was beautiful. Located on the corner of 79 and North Mays in very close proximity to historic downtown, visiting the church is an experience.

As I sit here desperately attempting to finalized a paper for Principles of Education , my mind continues to drift. I am thinking about work, about the upcoming holiday season, about paying bills and finding a way to survive all the stress. I am feeling actualy very unmotivated. I keep asking myself, "why"? We talked in class about the movie "Waiting on Superman". I think about the Harlem Children's Zone and education. I think also about my own ideals of how one person can truly be Superman and make a difference. Am I truly that naive?? I haven't seen the movie yet. I kinda wish Superman would come take me away for a while, maybe a nice cruise over downtown. Back to my paper now..............:)

My response to Practical 1: I have wanted to loose weight for a very long time. It's time. For one thing, I cannot qualify for my insurance to pay for a breast reduction at my current weight. Secondly, I want to run again. And lastly, I want to truly enjoy my empty nest time by being active. While 42 is not old, it is not 22. I have more wisdom and courage now than I have ever had. I have the tools to reach my optimum weight and to maintain it. Finally, I am ready to admit that I am not perfect. I know God loves me just as I am, and He is disappointed. What I understand now is that diappointment is not rejection. So, I want to celebrate the life I've been granted. As a mom, I would be soooo sad if one of my children sacrificed their lives for another and that other person turned around and wasted the gift my child gave.