My Thoughts

If I don't complete a project that I start, or a cleaning task or some redecorating at the time that it was started, it is very unlikely I'm going to finish it any timely manner because I just don't have the emotional strength to do it.  I spend so much my time lately battling the demons of guilt, sadness, anxiety and confusion while I neglect those things and people who could assist me. I think I finally hit critical mass; I can barely get out of bed today and luckily it's a professional development day but still I can't get out of bed. I hate it when I lose time.

A few weeks ago, I started this entry on shaming.  Listening to both Melanie and Kaitlyn talk about being shamed by others, I knew their complaints so well.  Most of my life I have lived with shaming. I think it's easier maybe if you were just stoned publicly for crimes instead of been ridiculed verbally. The damage done to a person for years of manipulation makes one feel inadequate.  Shaming is such a horrible thing to do to others. I found this article: Shame is at the root of low self-esteem. People who feel shame feel bad about who they are. This differs from feelings of guilt, which are related to thoughts, feelings, and actions. Those who experience the pain of shame have negative erroneous beliefs about their inherent abilities and worth. Large doses of unhealthy guilt can cause one to feel shame and its negative effects. Social abilities are impeded when one feels burdened by shame. A person may have a pattern of avoiding social interactions, which can...