My Thoughts

There are so many things that I want to say and I don't even know where to begin. I am so tired. I am tired of so much that there are just not enough words to make a list. I want to believe in something bigger than myself, but try as I might, I just can't believe in anything. And to top it all off this stupid voice recognition is taking longer - it's taking forever to post so that I have to pause in between thoughts which I don't want to do. There is something missing in my life. It is in my soul or in my mind or in my heart. It is something missing ,something that is just not there anymore I don't want to run around in circles trying to find it. I know that's not productive, but I desperately want to fill the void because the void hurts. I am trying every day to write my 1000 words hoping that in all the writing I will rediscover my voice that I know has been lacking. There is just not enough time in the day to write and teach and ment...

In all these years of being a single mom and struggling I somehow believed deep down that I was doing the best thing for my daughters and that the sacrifices would guarantee them something better than what I had.  All these years later, I am not sure what I "had" in the first place. Was what I had really that bad?  Time and maturity has altered my perspective about the importance of all things in my life. Once, I foolishly believed that getting an education would help get me a better paying job, and I also foolishly believed that just being a good person would make a difference somehow and would increase the quality and quantity of my inner circle of friends.  I am still waiting for this to be a reality.   I'm tired today as I write this.  I have already put in almost 12 hours of work and have 3 more to go.  I don't want to work 15 hour days. I'm tired of struggling financially. I'm tired of being alone.  These are things only a few people ever...

On being sick and other life lessons............. I truly hate being sick; I imagine most people do. Sickness robs a person of many things, including confidence, focus and even faith. At this point, I am on week 4 of this illness and not even sure how long I've actually had pneumonia. Mojo, rythm, game.............these are the feelings that you are right.......doing what you need to when you need to.