My Thoughts

Even though I logically understand what the expression “too much on your plate” means I don’t think I ever fully grasped the dynamic and emotional reality of this expression until just recently in my life. I’m 57 years old and there have been a lot of things in my life that I have struggled through, waded through, survived. I often look backward in amazement that I was able to juggle so much chaos at different points in my life and somehow get up and make it to school or to work or to soccer practice for the kids, and I never felt that I had too much on my plate. And somehow at my 57th birthday, I fully feel that expression for the very first time and I really don’t know how to process it.  As a 911 operator, I once took a call from an older woman, probably in her 60s at the time (making her almost 80 now), whose dog had escaped her fenced yard. She was hysterical. Initially, I didn't understand the severity of her distress. I even asked my coworkers what the 'big tragedy' ...

original date:  Feb 2011.  I found this "draft" and decided I'd do an update and publish. The last couple of weeks have been full of great stress for me. It all culminated on Friday with an announcement that a trainee at work I have worked with for eight weeks would be moved to train with my least qualified dispatcher. The reason is because the trainee says she cannot learn from me. Maybe it is my wounded pride or just my own exhaustion from consistent training for the last six months. I have not had barely a handful of days in the six months that I was not working dispatch while also training and handling my own administrative assigned duties. I am very curious how most people handle stress. I have actually spent too much time sleeping and doubting every ability I have. I internalize too much. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------***-------------- August 2012, 18 months later: During the time of the begi...

I have been developing a "Stress and Telecommunicator" class to teach this summer.  All the research so far suggests that stress among coworkers stems from 2 main issues:  work ethics / integrity and personal hygiene / cleanliness.  Many other factors contribute to stress, but most people I've polled make point to issues with coworkers as the biggest stress factors.  I've been mulling this over in my mind for  a few days, and this morning, I kept hearing the expression "make a hand" whisper to me. Growing up, a strong work ethic was one of the major character foundations laid by my parents.  My dad was always busy, and when chores were assigned to the kids, expectations were that the chores would be done.  I remember my dad saying on more than one occassion, "make a hand".  When my siblings and I began to look for jobs, the advice given consistently was to "make a hand".  Because I grew up hearing this and saw it demonstrated in th...

*Dealing with sick kids and stress* Well, the new year is off to a chaotic start. I have missed the first 2 days back to work because Whitney is home sick. She has missed her first 2 days back to school. Oh oh oh the makeup work. Add to the sick daughter the enormous amount of stress of coping with expenses and budgets and trying to pay for it all. Luckily, I have very little holiday expenses, but this year we had a serious family medical emergency @ Thanksgiving with my stepdad's stroke that added to an already very stretched budget. Maybe it's just me thinking too much.....I have many wonderful things in my life to be grateful for, so instead of dwelling on the stress, I intend to let go and truly let God. I have this "rule of 3"........when three stessors happen close together, I have to shut out the rest of world in order to deal with them. A stressor is something like not feeling well, a flat tire, a sick child, a maintenance issue, ect. Today, I am ...

Static Control My last post whispered my struggle to let down walls and actually allow my feelings for Jeff room to grow. In anticipation of spending time with him, I had been so full of emotion as I blogged. His announcement at dinner harshly yanked the veil away from realities and sent me scrambling to cover behind the pieces of my once stabile fortress. He is moving to Florida. Even though my suspicions existed after his holiday trip to see his parents, I had tentatively ignored them. Not now. For a couple days now, I have stood in static.................unable to retreat, unable to push forward. We talk about feelings and the absurdity of meeting when we did. With compassion, I am unable to throw a fit about how sad and hurt I am, nor can I truly comfort Jeff in his own confusion. We have actually spent the last few days side stepping conversations. He tells me I should continue to date with the sentence trailing off..............I honestly have no idea my response sh...