My Thoughts

“9 1 1, what’s the address of your emergency?” the call taker asked as he casually answered the phone. “Sam? Samantha?” a nervous voice asked in whispered tones. “9 1 1, what’s the address of your emergency?” the call taker asked again, growing a bit impatient. It was well after midnight, and the phones had been slow this evening, but the call taker was pulling a double and had been at work for over 12 hours. He was not in the mood for a prank call. “I’m lookin’ for Sam Vickers,” the voice trembled. The call taker grunted, “This is 9 1 1. Do you have an emergency?” “Sam Vickers?” the voice whispered. The call taker rolled his eyes and muted his phone. Leaning back in his chair to round the wall of his tiny cubicle, he yelled down the way toward his supervisor. “Someone on 9 1 1 is asking for you, Sam.” Samantha stepped into a vacant cubicle and plugged in her headset. “9 1 1, what’s the address of your emergency?” “I’m lookin’ for Sam.” “You found her. What’s t...

Do things ever work out for people?  I mean, do people actually get things they plan for, try for, hope for?  Because in my experience that is not the reality.  My plans never seem to happen the way I foresee or the way I want them to.  Consistently, I "roll with the flow".  Every plan I make doesn't happen by any of my parameters.  Surprisingly, it all turns out ok.  I can handle it. Today I had a very definite plan of what would happen - where I would go, what would happen when I got there what time I would leave and go to the next thing.  I have one late start day a week at work, so I can take care of some business matters in those three hours.  Not today. Needless to say I'm "rolling with the flow". I am handling the fact that my plans did not happen the way I needed them to happen.  It is characteristic of my life right now. I make a plan, and the plan doesn't happen.  I just make do with what I have on hand.  I ...

~Mercies in Diguise~ Showing mercy to others.............is there a message in this I need to hear? I bow my head in submission to HIS will and ask for mercy for my own transgressions. Hoping to find more clarity, I googled "mercies in disguise" and what I found were numerous blog postings about this song. Truly my amazement at only hearing it today for the first time is outdone by the amount of postings singing its praises. Lamentations 3:22-24 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." Many times I have been told that I am harder on myself than anyone else around me. My own perceived failure comes not from reality in the disapproval of others but rather in my own disappointment at myself. As I truly listened to this amazing song just now, I wondered why it was so easy for me to show mercy to o...

01.04.2008 Where Am I?? Finally, we talked last night, and in complete longing, I thought so many things about where we both are...........so far apart. We've always been this far apart, and I just never would believe it. I've spent 2 years of my life so in love with you, or rather, the idea of you, that I couldn't breathe. My heart hurts beyond anything I have ever felt. Where am I?? Where is that special, funny, warm and sweet person you met?? I can almost hear her screaming, "let me in", and I am trapped, afraid. She falls in love so easily, gets hurt so often and cannot live with her own disappointments. But oh!!! How wonderful that feeling...............of loving someone so much you can't breathe. Well, you might not care about where I am, where I've been. I know you never have, and I needed the final clarification on that point. You gave that to me last nite. But, oh, oh, oh!! I, even through the pain and burning tears, am so much better ...