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Cheated

The first time I felt cheated was when I was only five years old. My cousin had temporarily came to stay with us after she had been severely abused by her mother. She enrolled in school with me; she was my age;  therefore she was in my class because we were in a small school. I do not remember feeling cheated, angry or upset because she was at our house; but something about her being at school with me made me feel extremely cheated out of my opportunity at school.  I was not a very gracious host during that time frame, and I let my jealousy get the best of me. It is a regret that I have lived with for a really long time - the way I treated my cousin. At five years old, I really couldn't understand what she needed. I felt cheated out of the attention that I got from my teachers and my classmates. I felt cheated because school was my opportunity to shine, to be the smartest, the best in kindergarten. I could already read, knew how to color within the lines very well,...

Forgiveness (12/29/2010)

I had not intended to do much blogging today, but then I read the daily blog on Women of Faith and I just had to take time to at least outline ((save the concept)) things I have wanted to say about forgiveness. I had a very long catchup talk with a second cousin of mine a couple of days ago. I thought I was dialing my nephew and got her instead, and it was a very amazing misdial. There are issues in our family about abuse, and for whatever reason that God paired us for that hour long talk, we both spoke about forgiveness. I learned some valuable lessons from my cousin.......mainly, that although I feel I have forgiven others, I somehow continue to blame and have not forgiven myself. **I will expand on this later.** -----------------------------------------------**** Update 6/7/14 The irony of this post from 3 1/2 years ago is that I had no idea the levels of abuse and forgiveness that would wind into my family's story in 2010.  So many things have chang...