I had not intended to do much blogging today, but then I read the daily blog on Women of Faith and I just had to take time to at least outline ((save the concept)) things I have wanted to say about forgiveness.
I had a very long catchup talk with a second cousin of mine a couple of days ago. I thought I was dialing my nephew and got her instead, and it was a very amazing misdial.
There are issues in our family about abuse, and for whatever reason that God paired us for that hour long talk, we both spoke about forgiveness. I learned some valuable lessons from my cousin.......mainly, that although I feel I have forgiven others, I somehow continue to blame and have not forgiven myself.
**I will expand on this later.**
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Update 6/7/14
The irony of this post from 3 1/2 years ago is that I had no idea the levels of abuse and forgiveness that would wind into my family's story in 2010. So many things have changed, and yet the underlying story remains the same.
The Women of Faith blog post is still active, and as I re-read it, I was so startled that it can still speak to me. I honestly do not remember posting the top part of this blog. I remember the phone conversation with my cousin, and it's a conversation she and I have continued several times as we both struggle with abuse issues in our own life stories.
I know I have not forgiven myself. It's a voice that trails always behind me pulling me back and leaping ahead to plant whispers into my pathway. Here it is 2014, and the career I wanted to build is not materializing. I am disappointed and discouraged. That seems to be when the voice sings the loudest.
-----------------------------------------------****
Update 6/7/14
The irony of this post from 3 1/2 years ago is that I had no idea the levels of abuse and forgiveness that would wind into my family's story in 2010. So many things have changed, and yet the underlying story remains the same.
The Women of Faith blog post is still active, and as I re-read it, I was so startled that it can still speak to me. I honestly do not remember posting the top part of this blog. I remember the phone conversation with my cousin, and it's a conversation she and I have continued several times as we both struggle with abuse issues in our own life stories.
I know I have not forgiven myself. It's a voice that trails always behind me pulling me back and leaping ahead to plant whispers into my pathway. Here it is 2014, and the career I wanted to build is not materializing. I am disappointed and discouraged. That seems to be when the voice sings the loudest.
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