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Side Effects

Original Post March 2020

It's the hundredth day of school, and this year has been incredibly challenging. Without going into excessive detail, I can say this year has made me seriously question my decision to return to education.

One crucial lesson I've learned is that true leadership sometimes means putting on a brave face, even when you're struggling, to maintain a positive environment for those around you.

I've also encountered 'bulldozer parents' for the first time. I'd heard the term, but never truly experienced it. These parents set unrealistic expectations for their children and, in the process, demoralize their teachers. I've spoken with several educators who are leaving the field due to these difficult parents. I believe supportive administration could mitigate this, but that hasn't been my experience.

I've been called into the principal's office almost weekly since the start of school. Some parents refuse to communicate with me directly, instead relying on their children's accounts and filing lengthy complaints. Today's complaint was that I assigned too much work on game night. However, the assignments in question were simply a way for students to see and retrieve missing work from the past three weeks. We rarely assign homework.

Throughout the year, parents have complained about my use of Google Classroom, deeming it too complicated. They've requested less technology, more textbook work, more grades, fewer grades, fully completed study guides (despite in-class study guide reviews), and so on. The list is endless.

Furthermore, without administrative support, these meetings feel like interrogations. I've been accused of favoritism, having a feminist agenda, not listening to parents, assigning excessive work, poor communication, and insensitivity to athletes' needs. I've been questioned in front of the school counselor, a parent, the principal, assistant principal, and counselor.

My principal has also yelled at me, dismissed my questions in public, and laughed when I explained that my autism spectrum disorder makes it difficult to understand vague instructions without specific examples.

As I dictate this, I realize I may never publish it, fearing repercussions. However, the constant questioning and undermining have made me deeply unhappy and feel trapped and insignificant.

The 'it's just your year' attitude is particularly damaging. The implication that everyone endures this and I should too is unacceptable. No one should work in an environment of bullying and harassment. No one should feel undermined and undervalued.

Perhaps it's my mediation background or my emergency response experience, but I know that feeling trapped leads to rapid burnout.

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I started this rant in April 2020, the beginning of the COVID year and at a time when I worked in a small 2A school.  I am no longer in that 2A school, and sadly, I shifted to a school that now gives me a about an hour daily of commute time.  I've grown in the last 5 years, adjusted to the commute and even started an intimate relationship (3 years now).  There are still challenges I've had to overcome, but overall, I have discovered that I am actually good at what I do.  I believe that deep down, even on those days when it feels icky.

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