My Thoughts

I just watched Whitney do an ROTC interplay competition with the military parade; it was incredible. Three hours out in the beautiful spring sunshine here in Austin - it is a gorgeous day and one could not ask for better weather. I do not begrudge my daughter the three hours that I sat in the sun on bleachers for her,  nor do I begrudge getting up every Saturday morning early for the last two months for her -  it is part of the privilege of being her mom. If I can say anything to inspire parents of young children it is to get involved with what your children are doing, put the time into them at the beginning because if you don't, you will end up putting time in at the latter part but not necessarily in the way that you want to. Let me explain. When Melanie and Kaitlyn were little and I became a single working parent,  me being a part of their extracurricular lives was not always possible. I did what I could. I did not abandon them nor did I just not go. I...

Today, I was finally offered a teaching job after 8 years and hundreds of applications, emails and rejections.  All the emotions running through me collide, and I can barely believe it's real.  I have worked for a long time to become a teacher - it's 15 years in the making.  It's all too surreal. And today, I watched my daughter attempt to bring her life back on track, watched the humiliation and disappointment as she had to accept that the easy road she was hoping to find does not exist.  As a parent, as a teacher, I want to reach out and grasp hold of her dream, of her life, and make it all better.  Not wanting her disappointment to overshadow my joy, I was lost in complete confusion. More and more, I remind myself that I cannot be a martyr to a cause that I do not fully support.  I have not defined what the cause is, but a small voice continues to whisper, "Do not be a martyr." --------------------------------------------------------------- M...

As my 46th birthday looms silently in the very near future, I take a look back at the year of being 45 with nothing short of confused anger.  This has been a horrible year, and for the last couple of weeks, every memory collides. I wonder if some of this owes to a midlife crisis.  What was happening for my female ancestors when they faces the end of their 45th year? 1993.................. The year my mother was 45.  All three of her children were grown with families of their own.  I was pregnant for the first time.  My mom had 5 grandchildren already and was still married to my father.  They would be divorced 4 years later.  Both her parents had already died.  1993 was a time between the Gulf War and 9/11, a time when things in Early, Texas were still somewhat safe, protected and completely oblivious to a world outside of itself. "Got Milk?" became the newest ad campaign slogan; "Schindler's List" won the Academy Award for best picture and t...