My Thoughts

I have always fancied myself a writer. From as early as I can remember, I wrote - stories, poems, editorials, journal entries.  According to my mom, I even began this literacy as soon as I started talking.  She mentioned in my baby book that I often entertained others with my stories as early as 3 years old.  In fact, I often imagined myself working at a newspaper or magazine as a journalist.  I even started this blog hoping to develop a following, believing that it would bolster my confidence to seek publication. Fear of rejection...........................I cannot say enough about this.  My fear of rejection is so deeply personal on many levels.  Taking time to write about my fear of rejection as a separate topic could fill pages and pages as all the levels unwind.  I received lots of attention in school for my writing abilities, and all that assurance did so little to soothe an ego bruised by all the whispers, snide remarks and rejection of ...

Today, I was finally offered a teaching job after 8 years and hundreds of applications, emails and rejections.  All the emotions running through me collide, and I can barely believe it's real.  I have worked for a long time to become a teacher - it's 15 years in the making.  It's all too surreal. And today, I watched my daughter attempt to bring her life back on track, watched the humiliation and disappointment as she had to accept that the easy road she was hoping to find does not exist.  As a parent, as a teacher, I want to reach out and grasp hold of her dream, of her life, and make it all better.  Not wanting her disappointment to overshadow my joy, I was lost in complete confusion. More and more, I remind myself that I cannot be a martyr to a cause that I do not fully support.  I have not defined what the cause is, but a small voice continues to whisper, "Do not be a martyr." --------------------------------------------------------------- M...