My Thoughts

  I know, I know......it's unbearable how long it's been since I was here last.  I have definitely neglected you with blatant disregard.  Forgive me.  It is gloriously Autumn outside; can you sense it?  I mean, like fully, sense it??  This is my absolutely favorite type of day. I am cooking slowly over the week.  I have my tablet on its cute, lil', decorative easel watching "The Price is Right" and enjoying my second cup of coffee.  Autumn scented candles are lit around the house, and I am having pumpkin baked oats for breakfast.  This is the warmest, gooiest thing I've ever eaten, and I fully intend to make this a regular recipe in my life........healthy and yummy. I've thought about you so much lately, and I have missed our times together more than you can imagine.  Well, maybe not more.....maybe you feel the same way. I fear that if I don't make our relationship a true priority, I will wake up at the end of my life and regret its pass...

It's been over 3 years since I felt anything close to joy................the last holiday season that I felt excited and optimistic was 2012, and as I pondered that fact this morning, I realized that I had to do a great deal of faking through that holiday.  The sense of joy lingered in the shadows, but it had not completely disappeared. Maybe it's joy I miss.  When I write about missing a person, maybe it is joy. I used to save the little metal round lids on frozen juice containers.  I had a stack of about 40 of them.  In 2012, I decorated the lids with black / white photos of our family members.  The ornaments turned out so cute.  What stands out about the project now is that I didn't even complete my original plan. It's my own fault that joy has left me.  I didn't guard / protect it enough.  Too late did I make it the priority. A friend posted this on FB, and it pretty much summed up what I needed to do instead of dwelling on what I th...

My daughters are almost grown, and our traditions for Halloween continue to morph.  This year, I decided I did not want to celebrate Halloween as much as I wanted to enjoy Autumn.  This way, I can continue my decorations and cooking ideas into Thanksgiving. With a small twinge of panic, I reminisce about all the years of Halloween costumes and trick or treating that are over for me as a mother. I can begin planning for those grandchildren...........in about 10 years.  In the interim,  I will enjoy having a longer Autumn. Lately, I second guess myself.  As my children mature and traditions morph, I contemplate the past, present and future.  Trick or Treating and dress up have never been a big favorite of the Autumn season for me; but I did not want to deprive my children the experience.  Kaitlyn was the one wanting to dress up this year, and in a panic remembering what she did last Halloween made me say to her too curtly, "I'm not spending m...

~Eggnog French Toast Casserole~ Update:  this has been a very busy post, viewed almost daily and consistently since it's original publication.  I would love to hear about anyone's attempts at making this Eggnog French Toast. copied from Women of Faith daily newsletter This recipe sounds so amazing.  I wondered if this was the casserole that Jessica and Rachel ended up rolling around in on the floor in The Family Stone .  A little digging revealed that instead, it is actually Breakfast Strata which sounds equally appealling.  I did not like the movie, The Family Stone.  Maybe it was too realistic.  Maybe I was hoping for something more whimsical and hopeful.  I have tried a couple times since my initial viewing to watch it, but I cannot bring myself to sit through it. Eggnog French Toast Casserole A make-ahead breakfast perfect for Christmas morning! 1 loaf French Bread 8 oz. Cream Cheese 10 Eggs 2 cups Eggnog ¼ teaspoon Nutmeg ...

"Dee, we are headed out now. You coming?" one of her co-workers blurted as the end of day bustle meandered down the hall. Still on a telephone call and gazing intently as figures on her laptop, Deandra did a quick thumbs up gesture and returned to the task at hand. She was finalizing her first assignment where she was project lead since her arrival in Philadelphia six months earlier and she wanted to make a good impression. "Actually, we came in under projected costs which allowed us to apply our project surplus to a secondary project in that neighborhood. I feel very strongly that by contributing to the park re-modeling with the money and the volunteer hours by several of our staff members the community is beginning to trust our motives in rebuilding," she said. Glancing at her watch, she was calculating her walk time to city hall for the ceremony. "Mr. Henderson, I hate to rush off, but I need to take this other call. If you have any furt...

It's the first day of Advent, and I overslept on the one Sunday I could actually attend church. Even though I have every intention of attending the "hanging of the greens" tonight, there is some part of me that feels complete abject guilt for not being at Sunday service on the one Sunday I am actually not working. My guilt comes in knowing that the strong connectedness I once had to the very legalistic aspect of the Methodist church has transcended into a deeper connection to my Savior. I remember also that the rituals became for me an auto response to a life I felt completely imprisoned in. Somewhere is my journal entry about the gilded cage............."oh I know why the caged bird sings." And then, in a breath, the guilt dissipates. The few rare moments of family togetherness afforded us in this crazy world are more priceless to me than the strength of the guilt. Today, I also restarted the calorie counting. Not sure why I have had such a hard year staying fo...