My Thoughts

I have always fancied myself a writer. From as early as I can remember, I wrote - stories, poems, editorials, journal entries.  According to my mom, I even began this literacy as soon as I started talking.  She mentioned in my baby book that I often entertained others with my stories as early as 3 years old.  In fact, I often imagined myself working at a newspaper or magazine as a journalist.  I even started this blog hoping to develop a following, believing that it would bolster my confidence to seek publication. Fear of rejection...........................I cannot say enough about this.  My fear of rejection is so deeply personal on many levels.  Taking time to write about my fear of rejection as a separate topic could fill pages and pages as all the levels unwind.  I received lots of attention in school for my writing abilities, and all that assurance did so little to soothe an ego bruised by all the whispers, snide remarks and rejection of ...

I understand the true consequences of generational poverty.  I understand that it takes years and sometimes isolation and a lot of rejection, disappointment and self-doubt to move one small inch into change.  I also understand that immediate gratification is easier than having faith in yourself or having faith in something bigger because in generational poverty, trust is a huge issue. I also know and understand what it takes to get intrinsic motivation from those who come from low socioeconomic families.  I have heard all the excuses and not because I am a teacher but because I was a child in that environment and heard all the excuses for my mom, my sisters, my cousins, and my neighbors. I lived the struggle as I watched so many people struggle. The Raitzyns quilt project.........stunning Struggle, not for change and improvement but struggle from one quick fix to the next; that's the cognitive restructuring that has to happen.   It has to be a change in t...

When I was still married (so many years ago), my anger and frustration at my spouse often centered on his lack of acknowledgment of how hard I worked to create a home, to create family.  While other people we knew - from church or work, friends of my children, etc - remarked over and over how cozy our lives were, my spouse somehow could not see or either could not acknowledge the life we were building.  That last line is very generous, because in all the years since our divorce, I fully understand it was a life that I built. With the onset of single parenthood ..........three children and multiple jobs to sustain us............ I always knew that the home and family I created provided unity and stabilization for my daughters.  Many times I seriously have questioned that last statement, especially as my daughters grew into young women and began to question everything about my life and values. To clarify..........the creating of home, of family, entails things such as h...