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Creating Family

When I was still married (so many years ago), my anger and frustration at my spouse often centered on his lack of acknowledgment of how hard I worked to create a home, to create family.  While other people we knew - from church or work, friends of my children, etc - remarked over and over how cozy our lives were, my spouse somehow could not see or either could not acknowledge the life we were building.  That last line is very generous, because in all the years since our divorce, I fully understand it was a life that I built.

With the onset of single parenthood ..........three children and multiple jobs to sustain us............ I always knew that the home and family I created provided unity and stabilization for my daughters.  Many times I seriously have questioned that last statement, especially as my daughters grew into young women and began to question everything about my life and values.

To clarify..........the creating of home, of family, entails things such as homemade food, cozy surroundings, photos and memories available for viewing and sharing, the foundational principles of God and country, compassion and charity.  Melanie relates so much of this to the seasonal candles or special food.  Kaitlyn is just beginning to verbalize what this sense of home and family is.  The parts she recalls currently are the times spent around the dinner table discussing things.

As I sit here in the quiet of a cool, wet Austin morning, the glow of the Christmas tree and some quieted Christmas music enjoyed over my warm cup of coffee, refocuses me.  I have so much to be grateful for, so much to look back over in this last year with a sense of relief.  It's been a very difficult year, and although I know things are not perfect, I can take this one quieted moment to think about the life I've built for myself and my daughters.

Somedays, their rejection of my values and ideas does anger me and creates complete confusion in my spirit.  I am so blessed to have God's grace guiding me, because I then can remember that part of the growth and maturity of these young women is to re-define everything for themselves.  What I struggle to remember is that my life will continue once these young women fly the nest.  I am in complete control of the thoughts, feelings, sights and sounds that continue in my life.

As I look back through years of family photos, I am often a bit saddened..............I miss those cute lil' girls.  They have been the best (and worst) parts of my life.  I love each of them so much.  I keep hearing this quote in my head, "they won't care what you know until they know you care".  Although this quote is often passed around the education world in regards to teacher / student relationships, I think it is so applicable with parents and children.  I have so many things left to say.  At this point, all I can do is try and record as much as possible to leave a legacy for my girls.

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