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Showing posts with the label lost

You've Got Mail

 Oh my, I can so vividly remember the excitement, the joy even, of opening the AOL app and hearing "you've got mail"- the eventual reward for waiting for the dial up to reach across time and space to connect to a world that had been so remote only a year previous. I, like so many others, found new friends (connections) in those early chat rooms - reading the conversations of strangers and finding familiar threads of commonality.  For a couple of years, I even had a couple of steady email friends who brought my loneliness into companionship and helped me also discover my sequestered voice again. Even 22 years later, the Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan movie enchants me.  I try to watch it at least once a year and to use it as a guidepost into my own growth.  This year, as I watched it, I was caught off guard to a new fact that I have seemingly ignored for a long time - Joe and Kathleen were "cheating" on their relationships.  The dark and often crippling reality of "in...

Finding Joy

It's been over 3 years since I felt anything close to joy................the last holiday season that I felt excited and optimistic was 2012, and as I pondered that fact this morning, I realized that I had to do a great deal of faking through that holiday.  The sense of joy lingered in the shadows, but it had not completely disappeared. Maybe it's joy I miss.  When I write about missing a person, maybe it is joy. I used to save the little metal round lids on frozen juice containers.  I had a stack of about 40 of them.  In 2012, I decorated the lids with black / white photos of our family members.  The ornaments turned out so cute.  What stands out about the project now is that I didn't even complete my original plan. It's my own fault that joy has left me.  I didn't guard / protect it enough.  Too late did I make it the priority. A friend posted this on FB, and it pretty much summed up what I needed to do instead of dwelling on what I th...