My Thoughts

I hear you, and in a few of the tiniest moments, I can almost reach through the void and touch you. My sorrow knows no bounds as I grieve for you, as I must let go. I am so sorry that I cannot bring you and your sweet dreams to reality. Your smile is so bright, so vibrant in my memory, and I feel your innocence in all that is good and shiny. I have failed you. I have failed so many others. I have failed to be a good mother, daughter, wife or friend. Despair plagues my days and haunts my sleep as images of all those I've loved and lost swirl in my tortured mind. My feeble attempts to hold my life together with tape and glue finally stop, and I am left with the jumbled mess that is me - nothing around me left intact. A prayer echoes among the debris:  CONFESSION AND PARDON  Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart. We have failed to be an obedient church. We have not done your will, we have broken your law, we have rebel...

Like a memory from my own past, I sense her story so vividly that my breath catches.  As the sun slips slowly beyond the horizon casting a mythical shadow around everything, Sings the Wind sighs and the trees replay her sorrow. Haunting.................the pain and anguish wash over me and tears well in my pale blue eyes, the same eyes I see staring at me through time and distance. The first time I heard Taylor Swift's song "Safe and Sound", I swear that Sings the Wind was screaming through the warm evening air.  I could picture her on a grassy knoll, her hair blowing behind her as she sang into the wind.  This exact scene exists in the Disney cartoon Pocahontas.  My breath caught the first time I saw that movie, too. I know the spirit of consciousness of our ancestors lives inside each of us.  Recently, I came across a helpful hints guide to search for Native American ancestors, and one of the suggestions is to actually pay attention to whispered ...