My Thoughts

It doesn't happen often, but last night I was up until 3 a.m. watching the remaining episodes in season 1 of"The Blacklist", the NBC drama series about criminals helping law enforcement and law enforcement helping a criminal.  I had seen the preview for this series last year, but for several reasons did not watch it during it's normal season.  My interest in the show had more to do with James Spader than with the premise.  I have been in love with James Spader since 1986 when I saw "Tuff Turf".  I think it is telling of me who I fell in love with in the 80s - the clean cut boys who end up in a town and stir up problems, often rescuing the troubled or misunderstood girl.  Think Kevin Bacon in "Footloose", and a clear picture of this boy emerges. Spader played the sleazy Steph in "Pretty in Pink".  I loved him in that role just because he was James Spader.  After 1987, I have not seen many of the movies / roles he's played.  I did cat...

I hear you, and in a few of the tiniest moments, I can almost reach through the void and touch you. My sorrow knows no bounds as I grieve for you, as I must let go. I am so sorry that I cannot bring you and your sweet dreams to reality. Your smile is so bright, so vibrant in my memory, and I feel your innocence in all that is good and shiny. I have failed you. I have failed so many others. I have failed to be a good mother, daughter, wife or friend. Despair plagues my days and haunts my sleep as images of all those I've loved and lost swirl in my tortured mind. My feeble attempts to hold my life together with tape and glue finally stop, and I am left with the jumbled mess that is me - nothing around me left intact. A prayer echoes among the debris:  CONFESSION AND PARDON  Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart. We have failed to be an obedient church. We have not done your will, we have broken your law, we have rebel...