first posted 03.01.2008
Constant, again
This constant cravingthat we all feel is a state of being that has its beginnings at Origin. Most people don't recognize it; they just feel driven by it. It's almost as though we have this big hole in ourselves that we seek to fill. We have no awareness that this is what we are doing. THE SEVEN STEPS TO HUMILITY Melanie had to be at school early this morning for a track meet, and as I was driving home through the darkened streets of this little town, I thought of the similarities and differences of where I am now as opposed to where I was a year ago. Our location has changed, but my life with the girls is very much the same as it was before we moved. I began to ponder the idea of constancy. We went to the movies last night and then to Taco Bell. We all laughed and had such an amazing time. Kaitlyn mentioned that it felt like normal. I knew what she meant. Each of the girls has remarked several times in the last few months about feeling "normal". Melanie used the term to describe the feeling and smells of the holidays. Whitney has used it recently in regard to me being home more with them because of the new job. Each girl has a sense of constancy in her life, whether it is family time together or sights and sounds of celebrations.
Thursday's episode of "Lost" presented an idea of "a constant". Desmond had to find his or he would lose his consciousness between the two time frames, and Farady discovers that he had previously written in his journal "Desmond…is your constant". I know that in my quest for my own constant, I, too, like so many others, have tried to fill that hole with anything to stop the longing. Until I realized that God was my constant, nothing else worked. As children, we attach our tethers to our parents and surroundings. Maturity brings definition to what we are truly tethered to. In many ways, I have been Lost. Imagine the irony of this TV show........the girls and I have watched it since it started; it has been the center of our family night. We, too, have been lost. We are really attached to the characters. The new job challenges me, and at times, I feel very lost. I was struggling Wednesday, worried that I was in over my head. Coming home from work, I heard this new song "Beautiful" by Ginny Owens. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and my spirit renewed, knew I was not lost. It is the background song on my profile. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
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