Caught in a Spiderweb

Day 8 – Jan 21

I am exhausted today and not sure I can do this. But I know as soon as I say I can't, I can. I am good and mad. I am scared and unclear. Each day brings new challenges or brings the same challenges again and again. With every step forward, I swear there are 10 steps back.

Today is more community service and a call from the doctor's office......chlamydia. It just gets better and better.

I can do this...........I can do this. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Whitney is struggling with this, and today, I broke down. I did break down. It was not pretty. Then Whitney had a break down and cried. We have been discussing lots and lots how to handle this current situation.

Jack texted me to tell me he misses her. It's surreal that he shows her so much attention when he bipassed Melanie and at best ignores Whitney. I am completely caught in a spiderweb. When I heard Coldplay's “Trouble” a couple days ago, I completely understood.

Oh no, I see,
A spider web, it's tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,
Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
Oh I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,
And oh, I never meant to cause you trouble,
And oh, and I never meant to do you wrong,
And oh, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,
Singing out, oh I never meant to cause you trouble,
Oh, I never meant to do you wrong,
Oh, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.

Kaitlyn needs help. Listening to her explain why she would never drive under the influence again stunned me. She expressed no remorse for possible consequences or no fear of hurting others, she says that it was just too difficult to focus so intently on the road. How horrifying. No remorse at all. She spoke about driving under the influence as though it were a task, like washing dishes. I need help. The weight of it all suffocates and tortures me. I had to spend some time in my hiding place to calm all the emotions and quiet the voices.

Forward to 2020 (just leave out the COVID part): We all survived this crazy chaos of 2013. It was beyond terrifying. My precious Katie is now a college graduate and mom of three. She still at times struggles with issues related to addiction but has been clean for 5 years. I am blessed that all the hard work on the part of our whole family paid off.

Mitchells in the Revolutionary War

The next line I tackled was the Mitchell family. My great grandmother was Artha B Mitchell (1883 - 1977). I can barely remember her. I was ten years old when she died. She was the daughter of Francis Marion Mitchell (1855 - 1904). It is Francis's grandfather, Andrew Mitchell, Jr. (1760 - 1824) who served in the Revolutionary War. It is truly a story worthy of legend. Andrew was one of 3 sons born to Irish immigrants Andrew and Mary (McGowan) Mitchell. The young family came to the colonies in 1752. They began their journey in a Scottish - Irish community in Eastern Pennsylvania before migrating to Orange County, North Carolina. Besides the boys, Andrew and Mary had 2 daughters, Margaret and Nancy. At the time of the Revolution, my 5th great grandfather, Andrew, Jr was just starting his family. He had married Mary Tate in 1781. He was in service but took furlough to be with his ill wife. This informa...

Revolutionary War beginnigns

With the 4th of July only a couple days away, I thought I'd spend some time visiting with the family and share some of our family heritage. As the United States turns 236 years old this week, thinking about those unique ancestors who risked so much to bring about the American independence takes me back to Virginia, North / South Carolina and Maryland and the original 13 colonies. We all get so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to honor the past; or, as is often the case, families are unaware of the past. Technology opens the coffins of complacency and sweeps away the dust of indifference. I love learning about my ancestors. They are some unique individuals who lived life in another time and place but who are still present in our genetics. Think about it...........the same DNA that existed in a person 236 years ago is chronicled in my own DNA. It is almost like a message left in a bottle...........all I have to do is open the bottle. Our col...

PATIENCE Heard a devotional this morning about patience from Women of Faith . Patience is one of those characteristics many of us feel we need to improve. From the word "macrothumia" meaning long fuse. There are two Greek words that lie behind the word “patience” that is used in the English New Testament. The word used here in Galatians 5:22 is macrothumia. It’s from two words thumia from the root thumos. Thumos most commonly is translated “anger.” It originally carried the idea of a violent movement of air, of water, or a violent movement in the ground or in animals or even humans. It carried the idea of something that boils up. Or something that goes up in smoke. I really believe women have the ability to be inspiring. A Christian woman can truly inspire others with patience, forgiveness and kindness. To me, these qualities help support and encourage others around me. I am struggling with the possibility that my not being promoted is a personality difference with...

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