Starving?

In the last 30 years, I have often had this idealization of starving to death. I would actually imagine what it might be like to go for days without eating.  Somewhere in my mind,I figured if I could starve to death I would finally meet the approval of my mom, finally get someone to look at me because I wasn't chunky, and maybe finally have a relationship.  Maybe, finally, I'd be happy.

We often say, "I'm starving to death"; and of course, if it's at 8 a.m.,  that means we're hungry; we are not literally starving today or are we?

One of the most fascinating things to have happened to me in a while is developing this food intolerance and having to get rid of a lot of my normally eaten foods.

There are days when I do feel like I am starving mainly because my calorie count is so low, and it's hard to find foods that are interesting to eat when you are limited the way I have become limited.  I am so grateful that my limitations are just an allergy or intolerance and not health-related.

I truly did believe that if I gave up a lot of things like Cheetos, McDonald's and cinnamon rolls that I would just perish, that I would waste away to nothing.  Logically, I knew that wasn't real. I had so much emotion tied up into eating that it I felt like it would be real.  It's not been an easy transition for me.

Many days, I am angry and sad that I do not have food to fall back on.  My creativity in the kitchen suffers because of the limitations.  Also, there are just many days when I am too tired to cook and would rather pick up some take out, but I can't.  My complaints have no basis, so I must be grateful for where my life is.  Take a moment to google the term "starving to death", and many things will come into clear focus for you, too.

It's such a sensitive topic, so google "starving to death meme" and see how much fun is made of the situation.