Wanting to be a Writer

original date Feb. 22, 2012

All my life I have dreamed of being a published author. I love the idea of being a writer of actually spending my whole life and my career writing. I don't know why, it's just always been there - this dream of something I wanted.

I don't know when I started to believe that it would never happen. I do know that for probably about 15 to 20 years it was not something I thought I could do. Struggles with family and young adulthood stripped away my optimism. Deep down, I knew the possibility existed. In the last few years, I realized I could do it, that it was just a matter of putting some energy into it. I wasn't in a hurry like I used to be. On the other end of that spectrum is that you realize you are ready. You not only know you are ready, but you feel confident in your own abilities.

Then, this voice whispers that it doesn't matter whether I'm published or not - that I am a writer.

I think about Joe in "Little Women". Of course she wanted to be published and that was a big desire; but she always considered herself a writer, even before publication happened.

In the last couple of years I have desperately needed and wanted to record the story of my daughters and where they began. As the story continues to evolve, to reveal itself, some secrets are uncovered. I feel desperately that I must write it all down, even if only for my own therapy.

Kaitlyn has been doing some writing recently and so the idea kind of put yourself into my head that collaboration maybe like having her tell me parts of the story and write it down for her or to have her practice writing with pieces of my own story. My mom is also writing parts of her story. What a neat idea this could be.

Seriously one of the best things I've done for myself is to read the book "Boundaries: When to Say Yes and When to Say No". To be able to fully understand boundaries and how boundaries affect my life and growth gave me a confidence in myself I have not known in a very long time. I truly recommend the book to everyone.

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