Strict Scheduling as I Spiral

I am not ok.

I want to be, but I am not ok.

As the last, precious minutes of a weather induced 4 day weekend draw to an close, I sit in numbed silence trying to piece the mangled pieces of my life into a semblance of order.

I am not ok.

My heart aches for a world that existed once. My soul bleeds for the chaos that faces so many in our country. I keep hoping that I am overthinking it; I just don't feel that is true.

I am exhausted, and I am not ok.

No wonder the retreat of my precious home offers the only comfort lately. Here, in contentedness, I can script my hours. I chose music or movies that feed my soul. I prepare healthy food to nourish and heal my body, and I shut out any and all intrusions with swift deliberations.

Exhaustion can do that. It can blind reality. Maybe it's my age or the unbearable weight of responsibility I bear - it seems to get harder and harder to find strength. For the first time in my life, I struggle to find the strength and courage I need to push through a week.

Also, I have removed my the last addiction in my life - food. Where I would once turn to sugary baked goods when I felt this strong sense of panic, now I must redefine my needs. I must address the anxiety and establish new pathways in my brain. It is exhausting.

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Mitchells in the Revolutionary War

The next line I tackled was the Mitchell family. My great grandmother was Artha B Mitchell (1883 - 1977). I can barely remember her. I was ten years old when she died. She was the daughter of Francis Marion Mitchell (1855 - 1904). It is Francis's grandfather, Andrew Mitchell, Jr. (1760 - 1824) who served in the Revolutionary War. It is truly a story worthy of legend. Andrew was one of 3 sons born to Irish immigrants Andrew and Mary (McGowan) Mitchell. The young family came to the colonies in 1752. They began their journey in a Scottish - Irish community in Eastern Pennsylvania before migrating to Orange County, North Carolina. Besides the boys, Andrew and Mary had 2 daughters, Margaret and Nancy. At the time of the Revolution, my 5th great grandfather, Andrew, Jr was just starting his family. He had married Mary Tate in 1781. He was in service but took furlough to be with his ill wife. This informa...

Revolutionary War beginnigns

With the 4th of July only a couple days away, I thought I'd spend some time visiting with the family and share some of our family heritage. As the United States turns 236 years old this week, thinking about those unique ancestors who risked so much to bring about the American independence takes me back to Virginia, North / South Carolina and Maryland and the original 13 colonies. We all get so wrapped up in our lives that we forget to honor the past; or, as is often the case, families are unaware of the past. Technology opens the coffins of complacency and sweeps away the dust of indifference. I love learning about my ancestors. They are some unique individuals who lived life in another time and place but who are still present in our genetics. Think about it...........the same DNA that existed in a person 236 years ago is chronicled in my own DNA. It is almost like a message left in a bottle...........all I have to do is open the bottle. Our col...

PATIENCE Heard a devotional this morning about patience from Women of Faith . Patience is one of those characteristics many of us feel we need to improve. From the word "macrothumia" meaning long fuse. There are two Greek words that lie behind the word “patience” that is used in the English New Testament. The word used here in Galatians 5:22 is macrothumia. It’s from two words thumia from the root thumos. Thumos most commonly is translated “anger.” It originally carried the idea of a violent movement of air, of water, or a violent movement in the ground or in animals or even humans. It carried the idea of something that boils up. Or something that goes up in smoke. I really believe women have the ability to be inspiring. A Christian woman can truly inspire others with patience, forgiveness and kindness. To me, these qualities help support and encourage others around me. I am struggling with the possibility that my not being promoted is a personality difference with...

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